i can’t decide if this is pathetic or not…

i must tell you–I–have become quite the hermit crab.  i mean, it’s no secret, i don’t go out much and prefer small groups to crowds, and in all actuality become more introverted by the day, but this gives me pause…

apparently, my phone service has been turned off for the last 6 hours.  i didn’t even notice.

if you call my phone right now, you get “the Sprint customer you are trying to reach is currently a bunk bitch whose broke ass didn’t pay his bill.  if he’d keep his shit straight, this might not of happened.”

that’s a little embarrassing, but really i guess i’m more concerned with the fact that i just didn’t notice.  granted, i was in class and on the bike most of the day, but outside of work, do i really not talk to anyone?

looking over my call log, not including work calls [wonder how many of those i missed] or calls from my dad, i consistantly talk to 4 people–my buddy matt that i workout with, ben, ruth, and brook [chuck]…

so, at the most, i missed four phone calls.  that’s not so bad… i guess; maybe.

i just keep thinking that this would be the one night that kate beckinsale decides to call……

http://www.grandmafights.com

this isn’t actually a website, but, i was just thinking that it’d be cool if it really was.

somethings just make me happy.

“nah, you don’t mean that, that’s just something you heard me say once, and you appreciate it’s use as a condolance.”

having insomnia and having to be at work at 6:30am everyday aren’t two things that couple well.  having said that, i’m still not ready to go to sleep.

*****

i start school again in a few hours, 8:00am french class, and i’m wondering what it will take to get simo to do my homework for me…

*****

my kid brother started college a week ago.  that makes me feel old.

*****

because of a previous agreement with the aforementioned little brother, i’m not going to arizona in september.

still wish i was though.

dude, buddy, chello…

you know who i haven’t spoken with in a while?…

this guy, brett mccormack. and that’s my loss.

this [blogstock, L.A.]

was the last time i saw him. [pictured here with dorian at the formosa]

right now, he’s somewhere between sac-town and san fran playing the five chords he knows and drinking a coors light.

i wish i was there.

*********

 

work is of course still at full throttle, and by the time it calms down it’ll be time for school to start again, so i’m really not getting a break.

BUT, what the hell would i do with free time anyways… blog or something? how gay would that be.

 

*********

 

also, i’m going to wedding in arizona soon.

 

*************

 

 

also, read:

the fag, the psuedo canadian, and their lover
…and there are truly no surprizes

what’s new?…

work is busy again.  sucks. (that’s not new)

i started going to new gym, i really like it.  my old one is closer, like literally down the street from where i work, which is also close to where i live, so the new one isn’t practical, BUT, the facilities are so much better at the new one–i never have to wait on equipment, (huge pet peeve).  plus, at the new gym, there are actually chicks there… army gyms just don’t have those, or atleast ones anybody wants to look at.

also, a frat brother of mine had a family member do a very stupid thing.

_____________________________________________________________

*************************************************************

and thanks for this. 

dear seemingly endless catastrophe;

it’s been a really fun night.

my friend chuck [brooksey] and i went to a sushi bar, where i know the bartender, and had some california rolls, dragon rolls, and a rainbow roll… and of course more than a few happy hour beers.

my last day of class starts in a couple of hours, i’ve got a war buddy coming up from Texas, and despite my uncle dying a week ago today, and the special circumstances surrounding my mother’s appearance at the funeral [sorry, that one remains in house],

life is pretty all right for the moment.

nothing less radiant…

today is seriously in danger of becoming a shit day.  i’m not going to give the usual aside of “everybody i work with is an asshat”, but in a very Palahnuik like tone i’ll tell you, “it’s not the correct phrase, but the first one you think of.”

also, a while back there was a SINGLE, SOLITARY forgivable incident that happened between a friend and me.  i say “forgivable” because there were collateral repercussions, but the bottom line is that this was something between friends, and it was our business and no one elses. 

this friend of mine made it someone else’s business, who in-turn, in an attempt to damage me, made it public knowledge.  it didn’t really work, i beat them to the punch. But i guess i was suprized by how much my friend, in an attempt to thwart guilt, exaggerated a few details and just,

FLATOUT. FUCKING. LIED.

and all this, i must admit, it hurt my feelings.  i never thought this friend would stoop so low.  i just didn’t see it coming.

you see, i have a trump card.  i have something that not only speaks the undeniable truth, but is also embarrassing to her.  so, i guess my friend was thinking that since i was indeed holding a powerful piece of evidence, that a smear campaign was necessary.

well, it wasn’t.  that thing that tells just what happened, that shows just who my friend really is,

i didn’t keep it.  i didn’t want to hold on to her guilt either.

so, to this friend of mine i say:

“no worries.  that thing that could destroy you hasn’t been around for quite some time.”

and then i’d offer some advice:

“BUT, for the next time you get bored, and i say that cause you’ve practically cheated on every person you’ve ever been with, you’d better be a little more careful.  i’m not a nice guy, because this next part i guess could be interpreted as kinda mean, but the next guy [cause we all know there’s gonna be one] ,

well,

he could be a real asshole.”

what brings all this on?  well, i saw this friend of mine last night, and, i said i felt “surprized” when all this happened, right?

well, i remember thinking last night that maybe…

i wasn’t so surprized. 

i was gonna try’n rock…

while i was home for lunch, but broke a string.  guess that was a sign.

i ended up eating a shit-load of captain d’s and playing GT4.  and, i was late getting back to work. 

…did i mention that i have to write a 7-page paper on why a particular story by mary rowlandson provides enough evidence that the native American’s culture in the northeastern US during the puritan time period was in many ways superior to that of the early American colonial culture? 

back in the office…

haven’t been in since thursday, my very young uncle died that afternoon, so i’ve been at the funeral/family reunion that followed…

it wasn’t so bad; it was the second time i’ve seen my mom since ’02, and it’s always good to see her.