new favorite poet.

February 7, 2007

failing and flying
by jack gilbert

Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It’s the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean
on the other side of the island while
love was fading out of her, the stars
burning so extravagantly those nights that
anyone could tell you they would never last.
Every morning she was asleep in my bed
like a visitation, the gentleness in her
like antelope standing in the dawn mist.
Each afternoon I watched her coming back
through the hot stony field after swimming,
the sea light behind her and the huge sky
on the other side of that. Listened to her
while we ate lunch. How can they say
the marriage failed? Like the people who
came back from Provence (when it was Provence)
and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.
I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,
but just coming to the end of his triumph.

Going There
by Jack Gilbert

Of course it was a disaster.
The unbearable, dearest secret
has always been a disaster.
The danger when we try to leave.
Going over and over afterward
what we should have done
instead of what we did.
But for those short times
we seemed to be alive. Misled,
misused, lied to and cheated,
certainly. Still, for that
little while, we visited
our possible life.

Tear It Down
by Jack Gilbert

We find out the heart only by dismantling what
the heart knows. By redefining the morning,
we find a morning that comes just after darkness.
We can break through marriage into marriage.
By insisting on love we spoil it, get beyond
affection and wade mouth-deep into love.
We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars.
But going back toward childhood will not help.
The village is not better than Pittsburgh.
Only Pittsburgh is more than Pittsburgh.
Rome is better than Rome in the same way the sound
of racoon tongues licking the inside walls
of the garbage tub is more than the stir
of them in the muck of the garbage. Love is not
enough. We die and are put into the earth forever.
We should insist while there is still time. We must
eat through the wildness of her sweet body already
in our bed to reach the body within the body.

just curious… 

when i graduate in about year, i’m probably gonna move so i wanted some general speculation on the subject.

——–

sometimes it’s okay to come to work…

yesterday, the watermain broke in front of my building.  apparently, the pipes are old and shitty, etc, etc… so they cut the water off at 4 o’clock yesterday.  

today because of those old, shitty pipes the bathrooms weren’t exactly operating up to standard.  and to the best of my knowledge, they informed everyone in the building but me and the guy who was in the stall next to the urinal i used… whoever that unlucky son-of-a-bitch was.  

now, i can’t use science or physics or any weird math to explain why when i pulled the flush crank on the urinal, that thing turned into “old faithful” and spewed absolute jet streams of water everywhere.  i also can’t explain why i was just fast enough to miss any and all projectiles from said urinal…

but i can tell you it’s like the urinal was aiming for that guy, cause i don’t think he missed a drop of water and my and whoever elses piss that flew over the side of the stall, underneath it–somehow it curved around front of it.  i dunno.  i just know that inside of 5 seconds, there was an inch of water on the floor and that guy was probably wearing another two… all before he had his pants up. 

 

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phone calls i needed.

October 18, 2006

in no relation to my previous post, i got two calls from some of my other distant friends today.

i hadn’t heard from either of them in a while, so i was surprized and it made my day.

but now, i will firmly plant my head back into the books and tonight, will write something about a sonnet.

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*note: this pic is in the top ten of the worst pictures of me ever.

nothing less radiant…

August 10, 2006

today is seriously in danger of becoming a shit day.  i’m not going to give the usual aside of “everybody i work with is an asshat”, but in a very Palahnuik like tone i’ll tell you, “it’s not the correct phrase, but the first one you think of.”

also, a while back there was a SINGLE, SOLITARY forgivable incident that happened between a friend and me.  i say “forgivable” because there were collateral repercussions, but the bottom line is that this was something between friends, and it was our business and no one elses. 

this friend of mine made it someone else’s business, who in-turn, in an attempt to damage me, made it public knowledge.  it didn’t really work, i beat them to the punch. But i guess i was suprized by how much my friend, in an attempt to thwart guilt, exaggerated a few details and just,

FLATOUT. FUCKING. LIED.

and all this, i must admit, it hurt my feelings.  i never thought this friend would stoop so low.  i just didn’t see it coming.

you see, i have a trump card.  i have something that not only speaks the undeniable truth, but is also embarrassing to her.  so, i guess my friend was thinking that since i was indeed holding a powerful piece of evidence, that a smear campaign was necessary.

well, it wasn’t.  that thing that tells just what happened, that shows just who my friend really is,

i didn’t keep it.  i didn’t want to hold on to her guilt either.

so, to this friend of mine i say:

“no worries.  that thing that could destroy you hasn’t been around for quite some time.”

and then i’d offer some advice:

“BUT, for the next time you get bored, and i say that cause you’ve practically cheated on every person you’ve ever been with, you’d better be a little more careful.  i’m not a nice guy, because this next part i guess could be interpreted as kinda mean, but the next guy [cause we all know there’s gonna be one] ,

well,

he could be a real asshole.”

what brings all this on?  well, i saw this friend of mine last night, and, i said i felt “surprized” when all this happened, right?

well, i remember thinking last night that maybe…

i wasn’t so surprized.